Sexy & Single in New York- Good Girl Gone Bad?

Sexy & Single in New York- Good Girl Gone Bad?

June 14th, 2012 // 1:00 pm @ Janine and Alane

Once a good girl has gone bad, she’s gone forever…I have to live with the fact I did you wrong forever- Jay Z

My interpretation of “Dating vs. Come Over and Chill”, by Black Girls Are Easy, is a bit different from Sexy and Single in Atlanta.  I’m not even going to address the difference or issues with dating in the house versus dinners at the Palm and trips to Vegas.  We are in a recession, so if a few of our dates involve a carefully thought out date in the house; i.e. maybe a home cooked meal and a movie.  I’m cool with that.  A man with ill intentions can be the one who takes you to the fancy dinner just as easy as the stay at home date man can be.  For me, the larger issue is what women allow in relationships by setting poor precedents in the beginning.

The Hoe, as defined by Black Girls Are Easy, is a woman who uses sex as a tool to get what she wants.  This is the woman who will have countless sponsors in the balance waiting to be granted their time with her.  She’ll have the gift of gab and manipulate her way to what she wants and what she “thinks” she needs men to do for her.

The Classy Girl is a woman so blinded by love; she will accept anything a man sends her way.  This is the woman who won’t demand what she wants from a man and a relationship.  This is the woman that as defined by the blog, will get used, abused, cheated on and eventually kicked to the curb.

Ok, drumroll, Janine says this is nonsense.  First of all, karma is a big bitch with a nasty attitude.  She is who balances out the universe, so to speak.  So, the young manipulative hoe may have all she wants and needs furnished by a man or many men; but, what happens when the hoe gets old?  Do old hoes still get kept and maintained?  Last I checked, old hoes get left for the new younger hoe.  If the old hoe played her cards right, she married properly and will be able to live off spousal support, never to marry again and lose her alimony.  I guess in the ideal scenario, the old hoe will ride off into the sunset after she is left for the new hoe.  She’ll spend the rest of her days living off of her original sponsor, while funding a life for herself and her yoga instructor.

I guess this life is cool for some, but it sounds lonely to me.  It sounds like the hoe never gets to live life and love.  I would assume she is constantly preparing for her next lick, only to settle down with the “big hit”.  The “big hit” will probably objectify her as arm candy and probably cheat with other women.  So, I don’t think the hoe actually wins.

Now the classy girl is at home enjoying takeout and a hard one, with no offers of leaving the house.  This just sounds backwards to me.  So, the hoe gets the prize and the classy girl is good only for a roll in the sack?  Any classy girl that allows this deserves what she gets.  We, as women, set poor precedents in the beginning of relationships.  WE are the ones who invite him over for dinner too soon.  WE are the ones that agree to do things and say things that aren’t in our nature.  So, why are WE upset when we are objectified and mistreated?

This is where Jay Z had a good point.  A good girl, classy girl, down chick; or whatever words you choose to use will hold her man down.  She will put up with a certain degree of nonsense.  But, it is the men who realize they have a good thing once it’s too late.  Have you ever heard of a man pining for a hoe after they’ve moved on to the next trick?  I doubt it; instead, a REAL man will realize they had a precious woman at home while they ran the streets with a hoe.  They realize then that the classy girl has moved on to the man that deserves to be with her.  The man that sees the classy girl’s worth.

I don’t think it’s about being a hoe to keep a man, unless it’s in the bedroom-which is a different story.  I think it’s about women of any title demanding what they feel they are worthy of.  No one is going to give you what you don’t warrant.

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