5 Business Strategies that Can Strengthen Your Marriage (#3)
May 1st, 2012 // 10:14 am @ Janine and Alane
PRINCIPLE #3: Don’t send your duck to eagle school.
Nobody would say that a duck is better than an eagle, or vice versa; they are simply different creatures. Each has his own talents, but neither could do the other’s job well, explains Frank McNair in his book The Golden Rules for Managers. Similarly, effective managers help employees identify their gifts and then match them with jobs they’ll excel at. The same idea applies in relationships: Don’t expect a Nurse Ratched type to coddle you when you have the flu, or ask a shopaholic to handle the budget — unless your favorite pastimes are head-banging and hair-pulling.
CASE STUDY: Recently Joe noticed that our hectic morning schedule often left me frazzled, and offered to help out more. I asked him to start making the bed, which he did with no complaints, but his inability to get it right (i.e., achieve my preferred throw-pillow configuration) meant I wound up remaking it every time. After pondering McNair’s point, I thanked Joe for his efforts and suggested that he pack the kids’ lunches instead. (The man makes a mean sandwich.) Our mornings instantly got calmer, and he’s obviously much happier on PB&J duty. But more importantly, I realized that I am forever trying to get Joe to do things he doesn’t enjoy and may not even be good at. For instance, he’s a cut-to-the-chase guy, and I’m a storyteller. Instead of relishing every detail of my long-winded tales, he looks at me as if to say, “Get to the point already.” I can’t help feeling like maybe he doesn’t really care, even though I know that’s not true. Here and now, I’m making a mental promise to appreciate him for who he is: a guy who may not want to rehash, ad infinitum, the reasons I’m feeling so much stress, but who is committed to doing anything else he can to help lessen it. If I really need to vent, I’ll call a friend.
courtesy of http://www.redbookmag.com/love-sex/advice/marriage-as-business#ixzz1rR6VzxHM
Category : Blog