Sex Gone Wrong-Tales from the ER

Sex Gone Wrong-Tales from the ER

February 18th, 2012 // 10:30 am @

Tales from the ER

Bump in the Night

            “A couple showed up, but the woman was wearing a wedding ring and the guy she was with wasn’t her husband. She had a huge, red egg-shaped bump in the middle of her forehead. She claimed that they were just lying in bed, not doing anything, when the painting above the headboard fell on her head. While she told the story, the guy had a shit-eating grin on his face, and she was stifling a giggle. It was obvious that they had been having sex and banging on the headboard, which caused the picture to fall. She had to have a headache, and we had to do a CAT scan to make sure she hadn’t damaged her skull. Turned out, she was okay, except she still had to go back to her husband and try to explain how she got that gigantic bump. I hope she gave him a more believable excuse.”



Stairway to Hell

            “This woman had a broken ankle, and her husband carried her into the ER. When I asked what happened, she said she slipped in the shower. I knew it had to be something else, she was blushing like crazy and had several oddly placed bruises on her body-so I asked her one more time. She admitted that she and her husband had been doing it doggy-style at the top of the stairs, and he thrust so hard that she fell down the whole flight, bumping her knees and elbows and breaking her ankle.”


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