1(800)- Vibrator Hotline
October 3rd, 2012 // 2:35 pm @ Janine and Alane
Operator: Thank you for calling the vibrator addiction hotline, how may I help you?
Suzy: I’m addicted to my vibe.Actually, I’m addicted to several vibes.Big ones, small ones, rechargeable, beaded, thrusting, waterproof… I think you get the point.
Operator: It sounds like you have quite an arsenal over there.Tell me all about it.Start at the beginning.How long have you been addicted?
Suzy: It started slow. I had a small bullet. At first it was just special occasions.I’d dig out my bullet to take the edge off on those long and lonely nights.Then I moved up to a rabbit. The shaft was beaded for my pleasure and there was a clitoral stimulator that gyrated bunny ears all over my… Well you know where.Then it all moved so fast after that, before I knew it; I had a vibe for every day of the week.But, I was still in denial, you know, saying I could quit anytime I wanted.
Operator: Sounds like you were developing a problem…Please continue.
Suzy: That’s basically how it all began.My boyfriend complained, so I bought a vibe for me to wear during sex.I bought cock rings and all types of couples’ toys.I figured I had to include him in my activities because I had it bad.If given the choice, unless he planned to fit his penis for hydraulic stimulation, beads, a clitoral stimulator, and even a second motor for my pleasure; he was just going to have to be the one to go.
Operator: I see.So, you gave him an ultimatum?
Suzy: No, I wouldn’t really say that, because what I requested of him was impossible.I really just meant that I was too far gone to choose.
Operator: So, what happened?
Suzy: I soon found myself unable to climax without a vibe, whether alone or with my partner.And then… He gave ME the ultimatum; him or the toys. I was faced with quite a quandary.What was I to do?
Operator: Take a deep breath and imagine sex before vibes.Before whisper quiet, environmentally friendly, body safe silicone, temperature sensitive glass, and even the triple motor Mia. Take yourself back to a place where sex was simpler and pleasurable.Now that you are there, realize that unlike other addictions, you don’t have to stop cold turkey.You don’t even have to stop, but use moderation. Enjoy just “you” and your partner sometimes.Other times add a little spice to your romps and throw in a vibe.But, never forget a vibe won’t remember your birthday, it won’t call you at night, keep you warm in the cold, or even grow old with you.All good things are best in moderation.
Suzy: I guess you are right. I can have it all. I can enjoy sex in various ways. I’ll pull back slowly.
Operator: You choose your method of detox. Remember, we are here to help 24 hours a day, with extra staff during the holidays. Thank you for calling the vibrator addiction hotline.
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