What He Thinks When He Meets Your…

What He Thinks When He Meets Your…

March 17th, 2012 // 12:31 pm @

It’s no secret that Khloe Kardashian has never been crazy about her now-former  brother-in-law Kris Humphries. And she just revealed why: He trashed her  marriage when they first met, and she never got over his rudeness. We can’t  blame her—and we don’t get what Kris was thinking. Luckily, this guy has some  insight on what goes through a dude’s head when he meets the people in your  life.

…Parents Meeting your mom is great, because it’s  typically an easy way to score points. Your boyfriend knows that as long as he  speaks highly of you, asks her questions, and doesn’t accidentally use her  drapes as a hand towel, Mom will probably like him. Fathers, however, are  another matter. Your dad is a dude and has had sex at least once, which means he  knows the kinds of things your boyfriend thinks about and the kinds of things  you do with your boyfriend—and your boyfriend knows that your dad knows these  things. The result is at least slight discomfort and at worst naked terror, no  matter how cool or laid back Dad is. So when they first meet, try not to leave  them alone together for any longer than it takes you to pee.

…Siblings Boyfriends tend to love brothers. After all,  making friends with them can be the easiest thing in the world, because they’re  not just dudes you know, they’re dudes you know who have absolutely no desire to  date you. However, brothers have the same capacity to be protective as dads—the  difference being that it’s way more annoying when brothers do it. (It’s also  intimidating if your brother is older. And jacked. And an avid hunter.) But the  trickier relationship is with your sister: After all, she’s a woman who looks  and acts somewhat like you, and who also happens to be a total sexual taboo. So  if he’s a little standoffish around her, don’t panic—he’s just doing his best to  make sure you know he’s not thinking about anything he shouldn’t be thinking  about.

…Friends To be perfectly honest, yes, he’s checking  them out. He’s not doing it because he wants to have sex with them—unless you’d  be okay with that—or because he’s looking to trade up. He’s doing it  because…well, because he’d check out chicks even if he was at a funeral in a  burning building. What he’s truly concerned about is getting them on his side.  He knows that you’re going to ask them for their opinions of him and that his  stock will shoot way up if they like him. So he’ll be trying hard; all you have  to do is grease the social wheels. Oh, and if you find yourself getting pissed  at how flirtatious he’s being, don’t. He’s just trying hard to be charming so  that they give him the thumbs up.

…Ex Sure, your boyfriend sizes him up to see if he has  bigger guns or if he’s losing his hair faster, but unless your ex has a Tom  Brady physique coupled with a Robert Pattinson ability to brood, looks really  aren’t all that big a deal. Instead, your guy is much more concerned about  outdoing your ex in some way. Since you’d frown on him smashing a chair over  your ex’s back, your boyfriend probably just wants to make you laugh in front of  him. In fact, what you do in front of your ex is far more important than  anything your ex does. If you seem nervous or bothered by his presence, your  boyfriend will probably assume that you still have feelings. Which you  don’t…right?

Read more: Introducing Your Boyfriend – How To Introduce Him To Your Family – Cosmopolitan

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