Sexy & Single in Atlanta

Sexy & Single in Atlanta

February 16th, 2012 // 10:43 am @

Waiting to Exhale Epiphany

I remember hearing Oprah say “A person should re-read books during different times of their life”. Supposedly a book at 15 reads differently at 25 and that same book will look totally different at 40. I can attest to this fact. I have re-read the “Mis-Education of the Negro” several times. Each time I pick up this book I get angry that I did not take heed to the advice of Dr. Woodson. At 18 The “Mis-Education” was required reading in one of my classes. I passively read the book about acquiring skill sets instead of pursing a classical education.

Man, if I understood what he was saying I would not have debt up to my ears because of student loans. I would have pursued my passion for hair and hair care instead of seeking a degree in political science. I am classically trained to debate and disagree. I can read the newspaper like no other. I can talk about socio-economics, politics, and global issues. I am passionate about some VERY DEEP things. LOL, not so sexy to the ALPHA type of men I seem to find attractive. But that’s another conversation for another day.

Last night was Valentine’s Day. I am not that girl who stews or throw pity parties because I am SINGLE on V-DAY….AGAIN. I told myself that I would treat myself to a good dinner and take the night off from working. That’s a TREAT for a workaholic. I ended up watching Waiting to Exhale. I have not watched this movie since the late 1990’s. In the 90’s I thought that the “old” ladies were HILARIOUS and CRUNK. I mean what is there not to like about Loretta, Lela, Angela, and Whitney on the big screen? In the 90’s I knew very little about dating and men. The topics that were discussed in this movie were abstract at best.

As I watched this movie at 30; I felt a certain kind of way. One, I discovered I am very much like Savannah with Gloria “GOODY TWO SHOES” tendencies. I perpetually HOLD MY BREATH when interacting with men. Watching Savannah walk into that New Year’s Party felt like a scene out of my life. Women holding onto their men like I am going to pounce on them in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. If looks could kill; I would have died several times over. Why do men do things to make their women uncomfortable? Guess that is a question for another day!

I have sat on the phone with friends listening to them talk about some “NO GOOD NINJA” who needed his face bashed in. I have held my friends hands during horrible heartbreak. I have reassured my friends and myself that things will get better. I have tried to maintain a sense of serenity when my heart felt like breaking. I have smiled and pretended all is WELL, while all I wanted was a good ______sigh. A chance to be truly free but instead “I HOLD MY BREATH”. Waiting for my chance to EXHALE.

As I watched Waiting to Exhale I realized movies are just like books. They view differently at 15 and at 30.

Signing off,
Single in ATLANTA

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