Cocktail Hour with Rae- Defeated
June 20th, 2012 // 6:00 pm @ Janine and Alane
Defeated
I think I’m tricking myself into believing that the expiration date I keep pushing back into never never land is arriving faster than I’d like. To pieces I love this man, yet I’m not what he needs right now. He’s probably not what I need right now either BUT I’m definitely not what his life needs. I can’t be her, I’ll never replace them, not that it was ever my intention, but I’m in a race with myself. I keep running laps past my conscious thinking if I lap it up enough times I’ll win and get to keep the first place medal. But there’s no such thing in this situation. He has one & two that get the gold and silver, I’d settle for bronze because it’s better than nothing, BUT I think I’m getting copper instead. She’s the entire game. Did I really think I could compete with that? That’s insanity, I know; keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome. I should stay in my lane & realize that I’m not even qualified to compete. Bow out respectfully, be a lady & be classy, kiss his forehead and thank him for the best 6 months of your life. I’ve learned more about patience and understanding from this one man than I’ve learned my entire life. Let it be what it is to be Shanna.
Love,
Shanna Rae
Category : Blog &Cocktail Hour with Rae